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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22914373">we were never meant to be forgiven</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/aisimetra/pseuds/aisimetra'>aisimetra</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Domestic Fluff, F/F, Fluff and Angst, they/them Catra</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 15:49:40</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,702</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22914373</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/aisimetra/pseuds/aisimetra</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Catra remembers. They wish they didn’t.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Adora/Catra (She-Ra)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>29</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>we were never meant to be forgiven</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>ahaha wassuh m’fellas i have written this lil thing for the birthday of the litol human being called vyran so happy birthday !!! hope u like this</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Hushed breaths come out of their throat in painful, rust-coated heaves. Their body is drenched, muscles frozen under the bead of cold sweat. There is light streaming through the blinds but the world looks foggy and dark around them. </p><p>“Adora?” their voice is meant to be a scream, a yell, yet it comes out as something barely above a whisper. Catra’s voice is hoarse, broken, inaudible, so they must get out of the sheltering warmth of the bed and find Adora. </p><p>They know, of course, that Adora, the sport freak, wakes up at the ass crack of dawn to go for a morning jog before the official start of her day. Catra hopes she’s not outside, they hope they can collapse onto her, they hope they can kiss her and hug her and feel her warm skin against their own. </p><p>“Get yourself together, it was just a dream,” they try to tell themselves, chanting the words over and over in their head like a broken mantra to which they march into the kitchen. Their feet feel trapped in ice cubes, the marble floor as cold as a frozen river beneath their skin. “Adora?” </p><p>Their voice cracks again, as if their vocal chords are shredded inside their throat. Gently, they reach for their neck and wrap their slightly warm palm around it protectively. Even worse than losing the ability to speak is the fact that Adora is nowhere in sight and, while they know it doesn’t make any sense, their breath hitches as their legs give in and they’re just a shivering, heaving puddle of fear on the marble kitchen floor. </p><p>“Kitten? Oh, dearest,” Catra recognizes the voice that soothes their eardrums before they recognize the pet name their beloved gave them. Two warm hands wrap around them in a calming embrace, one in which they melt, one on which they latch their own arms, clinging tightly to Adora’s sweat glazed skin. “I’m here, Kitten, just breathe, my love, it’s all good, you’re okay,” Adora chants into their ear, voice coated in vaseline and honey, calming, warm. </p><p>*Didn’t need you. Left you.*</p><p>Catra shuts their eyes forcefully, tears beading on their eyelashes as they fight their own mind, struggling to replace the words it built with the words Adora whispers ever so gently inside their ears. </p><p>“It was so real, I could feel the dirt weighing down on me, the soil under my bare feet, the dust in the air!” Catra felt frantic, crazed, eyes wide as if trying to see the dream in more detail, tears overflowing all over their skin. “Adora, I heard my heart shatter in my eardrums, I felt the weight of the whole fucking sky when they said that!” </p><p>“Kitten, just breathe, okay? It was just a bad dream.” Adora was like turning on the radio exactly when your favorite song started playing, or something close to that. Catra was never sure how to word their feelings, but they were there and they were as firm as Adora’s hugs. </p><p>Slowly, Catra allowed themselves to drown in the wet sea of sweet kisses that Adora was pouring over their face. They weren’t new to night terrors or panic attacks, they’ve been dealing with such occurrences for so long they became routine at some point. That point was far behind them on the trail of their life and yet, here they were, twenty five and sobbing desperately into the arms of their lover. </p><p>“What happened?” Adora breathed between kisses, voice laced with concern and second hand pain. It takes Catra a few eternal seconds to gather her thoughts and form something close to coherent out of them, but when they start speaking about it, when the words leave their dry mouth, it starts feeling too real to bear once again. </p><p>“We were in a mess, a huge mess, and it was my fault. Your pink haired, uh, makeup girl, Glitter or something,” Catra tried to recall the loud-mouthed girl they encountered a few times. </p><p>“Glimmer, yes, good try,” Adora giggles under her breath and the sound makes it all a bit easier to breathe in and out. </p><p>“Yes, her. And crop-top guy, flower-shop lady, that kid you’re teaching karate sometimes, the girl that worked at the aquarium where I asked you to move in with me, uh, and-and others, I don’t know...” finally they took a deep breath and licked their lips before continuing “and, uh, this is the weird part...” they began, squinting a bit in an attempt to find a way to make the words they were about to say seem sane. </p><p>“They had powers...” Adora mumbled behind Catra’s ear, making them widen their eyes and whip their head around to stare, shocked and filled to the brim with confusion, at the scrunched up in thought face of Adora.</p><p>“Are you joking? Or, or, like, mocking me?” They asked, panic starting to feel as a blanket draped abruptly over their head, suffocating them. </p><p>“No. No,” Adora gets up and starts pacing around the room, fidgeting with her promise ring as she does so; Catra makes themselves smaller on the kitchen floor. “I’ve had dreams like that, too. I wrote them off as dreams, obviously, even if they felt more like memories,” Adora takes a deep breath and raises her hands to tame the few strands that escaped her ponytail. “Kitten,” she starts, voice low, eyes covered by her palms “do you believe in reincarnation?” </p><p>All the air in the room has been dissipated, eliminated, replaced with dust or water or something their lungs couldn’t accept inside. “B...But–“ they start and break down, tears Niagara falling from their eyes as their palms grab at their hair, nails digging into their scalp. </p><p>They don’t want to hear it. They don’t want to understand it, to feel it, to know anything about it. Their heart has already been broken a thousand times by this life, they didn’t need any of their past lives to come back and shatter another heartache-filled bottle over their head. </p><p>Adora was wrapped around Catra again, wet trails of salty tears making her hair stick to her face. Then, she must’ve understood the implications of that. However, Catra needed to have it out of their system, even if it meant spitting it our alongside their own blood. </p><p>“If we’ve lived,” Catra starts. A muffled sob and then, after taking  a deep breath, they continue “If we’ve lived these two lives, in these two different universes... what if we’ve lived in others?” The sobs seemed to be pulling at their vocal chords with harshness, wishing to snap them off completely. Adora tightened her grip on Catra, as if bracing for the fatal impact “What if we’ve been enemies in all the other universes? What...What if this is the only one in which we get to be together?”  </p><p>“So what?” Adora’s sobs fill the room, but she’s trying to toughen herself up, to keep it together, for both of them. She lets go of Catra only to move in front of them, kneeling on the frost-like marble before cupping Catra’s face in her palms, gentle, lovingly. “So what if this is the only one in which we get to be like this?” her lower lip is trembling as she speaks and her cheeks are red and glittering, soaked in tears “I don’t care if in just one universe out of ten thousand I get to love you, Kitten! I don’t care if we have to live a billion lives apart for just this one together, either. So what? What if we weren’t meant to love each other? But what if we were and that is why the universe tries so hard to keep us apart?” </p><p>Adora says it all in a broken whisper, eyes wide, overflowing with tears, searching for some kind if answer inside Catra’s eyes. “Like the myths about soulmates?” they manage to tremble their voice loud enough for Adora to hear as she starts nodding frantically. </p><p>“Yes, yes, exactly. Look at how nice everything is here! At how normal and good this universe is! Maybe it’s us, you know, two soulmates finally being able to consume their love.” Adora’s smile can only he conquered by the blush burning on her cheeks. </p><p>“You’re right,” Catra breathes now, for what feels like to be the first time ever since they woke up “I don’t care how long I have to wait and fight, a single kiss from you is worth thousands of ages!” Catra laughs, throat aching, stomach full of static and head full of white noise; but they laugh. And Adore is blushing, rolling her eyes and getting up before pulling Catra up too. </p><p>“If you thought I was clingy before all of this I need you to know that I now have all the reasons to cling to you even more, Kitten! I mean, after all, I have to make up for eons of no Catra.” she laughs and Catra hides their face behind their palms, protecting themselves from the skin-melting, sunny smile on Adora’s face. </p><p>“Fuck, dude, stop that, you’re being way too cheesy!” Catra complains, turning around to go to the bathroom and wash their face and do their hair “I’m not spending any second with you anymore!” </p><p>They laugh as Adora glues herself around them, singing about how she has to take a shower because she’s a sweaty runner, mocking Catra for thinking they would escape her in the bathroom. And, as Catra is brushing their hair while Adora sings a song about flying unicorns in the shower, they realize that they, too, don’t care about anything. </p><p>At first their plan was to leave the engagement ring in the back pocket of their jeans, in the dirty clothes bin, and wait for Adora to sort the clothes and notice it. They already had the lines ready, the whole script. Adora would ask them what that is and, smugly, they would say that it looks like an engagement ring and that they could use it given that Adora found it. However, plans have changes now and they’re wondering how Adora would react to being proposed to as she gets out of shower.</p>
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